Journal Entry 6 – Desires on Calls

Journal Entry 6 - Tuesday, 12th Jan 2021 Time: 5 PM - Desires on Calls

I have always loved exploring myself, finding joy out of it, as well as mutual masturbation with my partner. A long-distance relationship is something hard to maintain, especially to meet and satisfy each person’s sexual desires. The only way to satisfy at least a part of those desires is video calls.

We have always waited for an opportunity to be alone at home, at the same time. Him alone in his place and me alone in mine. Though we used to sext each other, getting horny on video calls was the most fun.

So, today we have got such an opportunity and I am excited as well. We don’t strip on the calls quickly, but we take it slowly. I get into a mood only when I see something arousing. So, most of the time, he gets me into stripping by showing his thick dick, covered with fluid and simply ready to fuck. I very well know the texture of his dick, since I have previously given him a blow job the last time we met. To make the convo spicier, I do a blowjob with the toy, imagining his pink-tipped circumcised dick, that is a turn -on every time. I love the way he reacts to it, causing both of us to want more and more.

So, we both got naked by now, looking at each other, on the screen of our phone, his hairy chest and the way he admires my boobs make me crave for more, to see him cum. I love massaging my boobs in front of him, to see his horny reaction and to explore each other more and more.

I love the way my partner enjoys my body on the screen, how he appreciates it and how he asks me to keep showing so that he can just stare at them by the time his dick gets damn hard. I love seeing his dick, from the bed when he lies upright. I imagine myself sitting on top of it, the dick making its way deep in my vaginal hole and him massaging my boobs.

But unfortunately, all we can do is imagine and relieve ourselves from the frustration of not being able to be physical in reality. So, I use my sex toy, which is flexible and more real which is almost as thick as his dick that gives me more pleasure.

I keep the phone on the ground, slanting on the wall, and I sit down, to open my legs and show him. He also does the same, so that we get to feel more like having sex. I use the toy and tease my pussy, just like how he does slowly on the screen. It continues for like 5 minutes, and then we decided to take it to the next level, as he is so tempted.

We masturbate quicker, moving his hands back and forth along his dick, while I move the toy exactly in the same frequency as he moves his dick. I do make it better by giving quirky sounds, which he enjoys as well. We mutually decide on how fast to do it, whether to move it slowly or faster. I love massaging my boobs with the other hand, while one plays with the toy. It is also arousing to see my body on the screen, and the way my boobs shake, while I use the toy.

He asks me to show the opening of my pussy, because he wanted to cum. I remove the toy from the way and open up my legs, the view which he now enjoys, to just cum. I love to see the way guys cum, it gives me much more pleasure indeed. But on the other hand, he would no more be interested to continue masturbating, after he cums. But at the same time, I simply want more.

As we disconnect the call, I continue to rub my pussy, for a while, with my fingers, to calm down after the climax. My orgasm this time felt brand new and fresh since I could virtually experience the real dick inside my vagina.

Journal Entry 5 – Fun With the Movies

Journal Entry 5 - Sunday, 10th Jan 2021 Time: 11 AM - Fun with the Movies

Though I have loved most genres of movies, romantic movies were something I had always been attracted to. Watching romantic movies gave me a good level of satisfaction, but yes truly depending on the involvement of the actors in the film.

Not just romance, but yes sometimes I get that desire to watch something hot and nice. I was in such a situation that I decided to watch a Hollywood movie, it was quite a semi-old movie, which was a real-life story.

All I wanted is to enjoy the romantic and erotic scenes, and have fun for myself since I am all alone at home. So, I set up a nice vibe as usual and got into comfy clothes to have a nice feel.

So yes, the movie had quite a realistic story, which felt great. I was lying on my bed, on my stomach watching it on my laptop. Ohh yes, suddenly when the screen blacked out, probably a dark scene going on, I could see my reflection on it. I could see my cleavage, which seemed sexy. And of course, I have been braless!

The scenes continued and also turned to be arousing on the other hand. As and when the characters and their roles got interesting, more of adult content, I could notice my nipples turning harder. I thought it would be fun if I could be topless for a while, and enjoy the movie.

The movie had erotic scenes and sounds too. For me observing my round tits as and when I could see the reflection on the screen felt horny. I have always loved shaking my boobs when I lie facing the ground, as they seem way sexier then.

So by now, my concentration has drifted from the movie and turned out to be partly my body and partly the movie. I wanted to moisturise my breasts and give them a massage. I sat upright and continued to do so for about 10 minutes.

There comes a beautiful fast number song from the movie now, giving me more energy to enjoy myself. Lying back on my tummy again, I left my right hand, slowly into my shorts and then under the panties to check on the fluids. My pussy has started to lubricate itself for me to finger it easier. I can also feel those tiny bumps and tiny hair growing on my vagina, which I happened to shave recently.

I just wanted to try some different position this time, keeping the laptop apart. I decided to spread my legs and keep it on the wall, long and straight. Ohh wow, it’s exciting to see how boobs seem smaller when we lie upright, facing the ceiling.

I decided to moisturise my pussy again so that rubbing could give more pleasure and fragrance. It was indeed a nice view for me, to take a look at my curvy body, with the legs up straight, hands having fun with my pussy and my boobs which looked like small sand- dunes!

Since my legs are spread apart now, I loved the way how easy it was for my fingers to do deep inside, and vibrate within continuously, with two of my fingers together, just like how a vibrator toy would do and feel those pink and fleshy muscles inside my hole. I love giving intervals in between and then rushing back again to continue masturbating.

Well, so I was finally naked by the end of the movie, experimenting with those sexy moves that I came across in the movie, rolling on the bed naked and trying sexy lip movement (common in most movies) were definitely what drove me to the peak of the arousal, where I could feel my body turn hot as I continuously enjoyed fingering my pussy.

It was also a different experience this time since the visuals gave me an extra hype than my usual masturbation sessions, where I had to imagine situations. The visuals and arousals of the male actor was extremely an added advantage, that gave me a chance of orgasm finally!

Journal Entry 4 – Pleasure After Shaving

Journal Entry 4 - Friday, 8th Jan 2021 Time: 4 PM - Pleasure After Shaving

It’s been about 1 month since I have shaved, my legs and pussy. I was lazy all these days, but yes, sometimes I feel the need to maintain the girliness and that sexy body, so I decided to shave today, while I bath.

I am always excited to bath on the days I plan to shave. It does take a lot of time, but the after-effects are great and satisfying I feel.

I started shaving legs only recently after I joined college. So like most of the time, I feel excited today, to shave down there, and feel the smooth apple-like surface of my pussy.

I wonder how hormones work and how our body reacts as and when we decide to do something. After getting undressed, my nipples have become that extra hard, maybe a sign of temptation beforehand, to enjoy that womanly sexiness.

I love creating that foam before shaving, I do it with my body wash, and the scrub that creates extra foam, more lathered, that can make the process easier and fun. I also like to shave by creating designs on the pussy, so that it would feel sexier.

I also, remove my mirror on the bathroom wall and place it right in front of me, so that I can shave better, with good visualisation. So yes, as I open my legs, to start foaming over my pussy, I could feel that warmth in between in the legs, as I open my legs further to see the hole, open up gradually, where those sensitive pink mouth of the vagina makes me appreciate the worldly creations!

I sit there, observing the lovely vaginal petals, the different skin tones around and within, rubbing my pussy for about 10 minutes and then started to foam over there and start shaving, and arrive at a design. I have not yet decided of what shape I would do it in, but yes, lathering there, seems to be a calming feel.

Though I have made it all ready to shave my pussy first, I changed my decision to shave my legs first, because, that would be easier than the latter. I did the same procedure, to shave my legs and make it silky smooth.

Now, I start to plan a design for my pussy again, to decide on how to make it beautiful,  Why not a heart shape over there? I have previously tried it but turned out to be a flop, unfortunately.

I thought to give it a try again since I have more time and a mirror to do it perfectly. Well, that took about 15 minutes, to carefully, shave around, with a hairy heart in between. Once again, I lathered the rest of the part, Oh wow…I have no words to explain how it felt! The area felt more tender and fresh now, just like how it used to be in pre-puberty period. I could feel the smoothness literally, and I kept imagining how it would be if someone else could rub my pussy for me right now…!

Slowly and slowly, I kept rubbing there and I could feel the fluid mixing with the soap, so there was more than enough lubrication for me to masturbate right now, not for long, since there is soap involved it would burn, but ya…the shaved pussy tempted me to go deep in there, with my fingers, that feel of natural fingering looking at the mirror, with my wet body. The view on the mirror, as and when I could take my fingers in and out of the fresh, shaved and ca learner hole made the process more stimulating. To play by vibrating inside the hole and the movement it caused to my body, that stretch of the abdomen and slight shake of the boobs felt wonderful. I usually apply coconut oil after shaving and rub there so that it remains smooth for a longer time.


The session was quite short this time, which lasted only up to 15 minutes(fingering alone), but what made it more enjoyable was how I observed my wet and shaved body throughout the time.

Journal Entry 3 – Morning Arousals

Journal Entry 3- Friday, 2nd Jan 2021 Time: 7 AM - Morning Arousals

Due to the pandemic last year, I have spent most of the time home, other than at my college hostel. Since the home has always been a comfortable place to be, I have remained braless throughout the time. Even today, right now, I am staring at my body, looking in the mirror, my curvy body, with a 34C bust size and a 36 waist size and those nipples which have just become hard, pointing out, with no specific reason.

I have wondered the reason behind why nipples peep through the clothes, in situations when I am not even horny. But, the irony lies here that when I admire the hard nipples through the clothes, I get aroused too!

This is probably the 5th time, during these 10 months at home that it is happening to me. Those teeny tiny tips drive me to feel them without the clothes over them. To admire my natural figure, in the mirror, the beauty of the tits and those curves of the hips.

I am perfectly glad about my body type, even while being chubby.

I have got no time to waste, it’s time to lock the doors and close down the curtains. I love the vibe that my room gives, with the curtains on and the dim sunlight that comes across. I am wearing shirt like clothing, that allows me to unbutton them, one by one, leading to gradual opening-up of the body, from one curve to the other. As and when I see my round shoulders, adds to the initial pleasure.

So now, it’s just naked me and the clear mirror. On deeply observing my breasts, I felt they are dry and hence decided to moisturize them. I love massaging my boobs with oil or a moisturizer, and I continue doing so. I love shaking them in the fastest motion ever, just like how those actresses in Hollywood songs do with their bikinis on. I find pleasure by massaging them both together at the same time, rubbing them against each other, grabbing them, and making the nipples meet each other, with my 34C  sized bust size is a heavenly feeling.

I turn towards the right, to get a side view of my boobs, how round and pointed their tips are, almost half-inch long by now. My nipples are indeed dark, due to my brown skin type, which I feel is naturally pretty.

I sit on a chair facing the mirror since that makes the boobs feel bustier than lying on the bed on the back. My actions so far have lead the fluid to start their activities and invite my fingers to stimulate them better.

This time, I tend to take the three fingers together since I feel extra horny looking at my round boobs, flashing myself in the mirror. As I start to finger and give them to and fro movement continuously, it was not a gradual process this time, I took no time to tease them around, this was so quick and continuous.

What caused me more arousals is the movement and swinging of the boobs, while I masturbated, slightly like how the boobs jiggle during sex. I wanted my fingers to act harder and harder against the hole, just to admire the movement of the fucking hot boobs. Oh my goodness, sometimes, I feel no partner would give me this level of pleasure, while I secretly hope they do!

Well, that lasted for around 10 minutes, an exclusive session for enjoying the beauty, also embracing those flaws, those stretch marks here and there over the body. Yet again, I did feel a lighter climax, than my recent session.

But yes, I could experience this feeling of freshness, and special freedom of being naked, for my body to have a conversation with the air around, the sunlight, and the mirror itself.

Journal Entry 2 – Wanting the Real

Journal Entry 2 - Friday, 30th Dec 2020 Time: 04:30 PM Wanting the Real

This time, what lead me to masturbate was when I realized there existed different types of penis. I ended googling up images of the types of penis, the circumcised and uncircumcised dicks made me horny, and I just wanted to feel them inside me…or at least experience giving a blowjob.

I preferred the non-circumcised one, as I could imagine myself moving it to and fro, to see the yummy pink tip of the dick and just suck it. I couldn’t stop myself from masturbating and feeling the pleasure. So, I use a bottle, which is a pocket soap container, and looks like a dick! I use it while masturbating often, in situations when I am too high and unable to control it.

I just closed the doors and grabbed it, removed everything I wore underneath….sat on the floor with my legs wide open, and teased my pussy with its tip. Fluid simply started to flow gradually out of the doors of my vagina, as  I continued playing around my wet pussy, and then it was time to let it in and just feel like the dick inside.

But I still missed feeling an uncircumcised dick, a real dick that could cum like hell. I had no choice on how to feel it in reality, all I could do is imagine the dick-shaped bottle as one, for now.

Also, I love the way how we can give movement while a dick is actually inside the hole, the muscular movement, that gives contractions would be pleasuring for both, the man and the woman in real life. I start to imagine, how the feeling would be, to have those moments, the tender inner parts feeling each other, just like how the tongue does the talking, during a French kiss.

 I could not stop rubbing the tip of my toy, around my vagina, simply to feel that arousal and increase the lubrication. After playing around them for like 15 minutes, I again let it in, and simply sat crossing my legs all tightened up. Once, I opened the legs and took the toy out, looking back at it, filled with off-white coloured fluid around, seemed juicy. I get the temptation to taste it, only very rarely, and so this time, I did not feel so.

The dick like bottle which I use is transparent, and hence, sometimes I feel it does not completely satisfy me. Still, I would always love to appreciate its 5.2-inch length, which allows me to feel it deep inside my vagina. Also, that makes it easy for me to vibrate and rotate it along the deep and shallow hole.

As I let it in and take it out, the movement gives me a lot of fun pleasure, and yeah it’s just fun, as I punch the tip to the depths within my whole, hurts a bit and makes me mourn. I usually don’t make loud noises while I pleasure myself, with a fear that people would hear me. But yes, when I get an opportunity to be alone at home, at the same time feel horny, I make the best out of it. Haan, so this time too, it is happening in that mild and moody noise, which I have to control that it does not cross the walls.

I have been using it only to try them on my vaginal hole, but wish to try using them on my butt- hole as well so that I could get a more realistic position while doing the same.

I continued to punch them in and out of my lubricated pussy and rub the fluid on my hairy vagina, which isn’t shaved for about a few months. All of a sudden, that gave me a hype, and I ended up doing the same for almost 10 minutes after that continuously. Well, that was such unexpected energy all of a sudden, that has, fortunately, lead me to the state of climax and what not!

My energy and interest to pursue have dropped by now, with zero lubrication thereafter. Usually, I feel a dry vagina with a burning sensation after such sudden and continuous situations while masturbating. But this time, it wasn’t as much as usual, maybe because I used a toy, rather than my fingers.

To conclude, this time the session attracted me in enjoying the deeper stretches and movements of my vagina, and not letting me concentrate on any other body part or to feel the beauty of them. After all, I felt more like I had sex and experienced a  long and non-circumcised penis inside me except for the fact that the toy was less flexible. The experience this time, allowed me to enjoy a relaxed evening, leaving all worries apart!

Journal Entry 1 – Involuntarily Active Nights

Journal Entry 1 - Friday, 26th Dec 2020 Time: 11 PM Involuntarily Active Nights

Since the mid of my puberty, I have been experiencing random sexual arousals at the midnight, simply all of a sudden a feeling to discover my body, it’s features, my nipples just get harder I start to feel fluid flow out of my vagina to the innerwear. The dim light of the night, makes me feel sexier when I lift my clothes, I don’t completely remove it though and thereafter it’s just an imaginary conversation between me and my hypothetical companion.

Yes, it has again happened, I am just awakened from the middle of sleep to gaze at the street lights outside of my room door. The light rays, make my body glow with sexual intentions.

Firstly, I always start by exploring and teasing my fucking hard nipples, around my boobs, slowly fingering them around and around. Simply exploring them upright doesn’t give enough pleasure, hence, I turn to the left side towards the dim light and see my boobs, how beautiful they are …and the way nipples stand out through them. I leave my hands in between them and feel the warmth and the hotness.

Still, I am not done exploring my boobs, it makes me want more…to see them bounce and shake. It leads me to change my position once again, to lie facing the bed, and just give it a shake…a continuous shoulder shake, to see them swing like water balloons!

That takes away a lot of energy, but yes, the fluids have just flooded in my inners right now, inviting my fingers out there, to the vagina…Off…I am confused, should I just play with the petals of my vagina…or just go inside and leave my finger into the fucking naturally lubricated hole.

Ohh…fuck….that’s the best start ever…to now tease those delicate petals..the tickle over there, the yummy fluid around it…makes me drive for more and more.

The hole is still waiting for the guest…yeah…all I can do is fingering now…since no toys are near my reach…and obviously, fingers make it more natural for yeah…Uff….awww….the first finger has made it through middle finger…let it do its work alone there, when it’s just one finger, I love the way it reaches every here and there, the capability of it to vibrate and reach depth….wtf….that felt great..and so pleasing….though it didn’t pain much…the other fingers are waiting too!

I also love to put three of them at a time, it makes me feel like a thick dick inside of me….and higher of pleasure of all…Ohh…no it does give that hurting pleasure at times…and it’s just fucking awesome.

Oops, the boobs are still hard…let me just rub the fluid out here…aww….they feel moisturized and yum. Hmmm…..that tempts me to suck them…to suck my fluid covered boobs of course….Glad that I have got moderately bigger boobs, with a bra size of 34C, which makes it easy for me to suck them whenever I admire them. But I have to again change my position towards the bed so that sucking them could be easier, as they would simply hang from the chest.

So yes, I have just one more step to that I can get back to sleep happily….to use my middle finger, in the same position and just let it into the hole….to further depths and just tighten my thighs…and that’s done… even though I couldn’t reach orgasm. Maybe that was because of not using a toy. Still, I was well satisfied with the night.

To be honest, I could never figure out why such arousals take place for me all of a sudden, but all I can realize is it’s after effects, post this 20 minutes of hotness – a better sleep, with zero frustrations and sexual pleasure attained. I would be waiting for the next time it hits me, to try out more interesting sensations.

10 Reasons To Make Masturbation Part Of Your Wellness Routine

Everyone masturbates, right? Or do they? And why is it so embarrassing to talk about? Should we be doing it more?

Well, here are my answers: yes, everyone masturbates. But yes, we should also be doing it more. According to Indiana University’s National Survey Of Sexual Health And Behavior, more than half of American adults report masturbation between one and four times a week. Men masturbate more frequently than women do, and it’s time to change that.

Through working with thousands of women as a health coach (in addition to my own personal experience), masturbation has been both an uncomfortable topic to talk about — while also being a powerful healing technique. It’s time to finally embrace it.

Masturbation has gotten a bad reputation, mainly because religion and culture tell us it’s a sin. The Bible doesn’t explicitly talk about masturbation, although there is some stern warning against “spilling your seed on the ground.” The Catholic Church decided that masturbation (sometimes referred to as “onanism” after Onin, a Biblical character) was a sin deserving of eternal damnation.

By the time World War I came around, onanism was being called “self-abuse” and described in medical texts as more dangerous to young boys than lying or stealing. Girls and women aren’t even mentioned, as if “the fairer sex” couldn’t even possibly do something so dirty.

So it stands to reason that most of us would feel some traces of shame, guilt, or even fear when practicing this very natural act. But take heart from the animal world and modern science! Dozens of mammal, bird, and insect species have been documented to masturbate in captivity and in the wild. From penguins, to dolphins, horses, and even porcupines, mother nature has no judgment when it comes to wrapping your hand, wing, or fin, around your own personal magic wand.

In honor of National Masturbation Month, here are ten great reasons that masturbation should be an essential part of your wellness and self-care routine:

1. You’ll get a healthy dose of dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin.

According to the 2009 University of Michigan study, orgasms cause the body to release dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin, the “love and bonding” hormone.

The boost of these hormones in turn lowers cortisol, a main stress hormone. Chronically elevated cortisol levels lead to inflammation, stress-eating, insomnia, and weight loss resistance. This means your pleasure-powered work outs will more easily lead to a toned body.

2. You won’t get as many junk-food cravings.

Higher levels of oxytocin makes us feel happier, which keeps those emotionally-triggered food cravings for sugars, cheese, and other “comfort foods” at bay. Oxytocin levels are usually increased simply through the physical stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, cervix, and breasts. So even if you don’t reach climax, you’ll still release this powerful neurotransmitter.

3. For men, frequent masturbation improves sperm quality.

Why? There is less DNA damage and motility problems with fresh sperm.

4. Pleasure is physiologically relaxing, which has a positive effect on the microbiome.

The gut and the mind are inextricably linked. In my book Women, Food, And Desire, I tell the story of a client who wasn’t dating, and wasn’t masturbating. She had been suffering from bloating, gas, and a frustrating “muffin top” that wouldn’t budge for years. I took her to Babeland, a clean, well-lit sex store, and we spoke with a knowledgeable staff member who helped her pick out her first nontoxic vibrator.

After a couple of weeks of self-exploration, and regular self-pleasure, she noticed a marked difference in her digestion, and her bloating had reduced greatly.

5. Women who masturbate regularly are more likely to feel positively about their body.

This, unsurprisingly, leads to higher confidence, and a positive upward spiral of self-care. When you know what you need to bring yourself pleasure and orgasm, you strengthen your emotional intelligence and connection to your body.

Knowing how your body works, and what you’re capable, regardless of your relationship status, helps you make better decisions and stronger boundaries about dating and mating. When you can bring yourself physical pleasure, you don’t need someone else to validate that you’re sexy. You know it.

6. Daydreaming kicks life up a notch.

Another study reveals that sexy daydreams release testosterone in women, which means that when you read erotic fiction, or watch any kind of porn that excites you, your body will begin anticipating encounter, which naturally raises your libido and quite literally gets your juices flowing.

7. You will feel less pain. Really.

Orgasms (and to a lesser extent simple sexual arousal) increase blood flow to both your brain and reproductive organs, which helps soothe menstrual cramps and headaches.

8. Sexual pleasure brings you in the present moment.

Sexual pleasure is a great way to clear your mind of ruminating and excessivea nxiety. It brings you to the present moment, kind of like meditating! But if sitting on a meditation cushion isn’t doing it for you, grab your bottle of lube.

The physical release doubles as stress relief, and can be a great way to get in touch with your body and out of your head. Being in the moment, and focusing on what feels physically good to you, is a wonderful intentional practice with many benefits.

9. You can keep your sex life alive and kickin’ no matter what.

Especially if you’re single, or in a long-distance relationship, masturbation is a great way to help your sexual energy stay alive. Self-stimulating keeps your reproductive tissues flexible, strong, and healthy. The more solo-sex you have, the more you’ll want because your brain is thinking about sex more often. This is really helpful for couples who are separated or for the single person who wants to present the best version of themselves while dating.

10. It feels awesome!

And we all need more pleasure in our lives, am I right?

So join me and thousands of others as we celebration the 20th anniversary of National Masturbation Month!