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Journal Entry 3 – The Dirty Dream

I went to bed a little earlier than usual today, around 11:40 pm. I do not remember exactly when I fell asleep. I do not remember what exactly I dreamt about, but towards the morning, when I was almost about to wake up, or you can say half asleep, I saw having some steamy intimacy with an imaginary person, he did not have a face. But I woke up, half asleep, feeling my underpants gliding against my inner walls but not causing any friction, like a soft and moist piece of cloth.

I quickly woke myself up completely and brought myself back to senses. But, the dream was not complete, so I felt weird and went to the washroom. The weather was just as pleasing and helping as ever, birds chirping, the outside was not completely bright yet everything was fully visible and the coolness in the air was making me want it more than ever.

In the washroom, I opened my braids and freed my hair as I prepared. Then, I slowly ran my hands through my body first touching my cheeks, then lips, as if somebody was caressing me, somebody I love, somebody who’s touch would feel calming yet raising every hair on my body. Then I took my fingers to glide over my neck followed by my chest and breasts. While my right hand was busy doing this, my left hand took the lead in squeezing my waist like somebody would, when they pull somebody closer. All of this was happening over my night dress, a knee-length long brack dress. I then removed my dress and took a good look at myself, the marks of chicken pox, the stretch marks, the body hair, nothing disgusts me. As if I love them, as if I want them to stay right there, I do not wanna get rid of any of them. I moved my fingers over the linings of each of the round marks of chicken pox from over 7 months, the long stretch marks on my outer thighs and as my nail tips touched my skin onn those places, it felt erotic and so calming that i would die to feel that again.

Then, I sat down on the marble floor of our bathroom and slowly, with my right hand, I spread my legs. While my left hand was squeezing my left breast, my right hand was playing with my labia and clit, bringing those muscles together and then separating them with my index and middle finger while my thumb played with the clit. I could feel myself aroused, so i first gently thrusted my middle finger of right hand (since, i have long nails on my left hand), then, i pulled that finger out and thrusted again, then, i inserted another finger, the index finger of my right hand inside me and kept going, each time faster and deeper than the earlier one. After a few minutes, I came. When I came out from the bathroom, it was 6 am.

My hand muscles were sore, but worth it. This calmed me a lot. It has been a really long time since I have felt this kind of calmness. This also put me in a good mood for the rest of the day.

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