Journal Entry 5 – Happy Ending

There is nothing more beautiful than the mountains and the men on ‘em. I can fight anyone who disagrees.

I visited the Batashia Loop today in Darjeeling, saw the Sun rising on the Kanchenjunga. I got a glimpse of what Heaven might look like. That’s the closest to Heaven this sinner will ever be. Sunbeams danced on the snow and ice tops, blinding us with their performance. It was like molten metal, more like molten diamonds. Life felt complete today.

We took a tour of the Tiger Hills, Ghum and took a long drive to Gangtok. We got the cutest driver, Ning Tamang. He has been with us for the last couple of days. Our travel agency did us right. I avoid good looking young men when I’m with Dad. He starts being mean to them if they try to talk to me. Kaustav is the exception, ofcourse. So this Ning guy let the first two days slide; things were ignorable until yesterday. So we were at this place having breakfast; I was feeling freezing. So mom asked me to wait in the car till they paid the bills and all. I always take the right window. I was sitting in the car for some time, and when I looked up, I saw Ning staring at me from the rearview mirror; he immediately smiled, taking me a bit by surprise.

 “So Anushka is it?” he asked me in a typical pahari accent.  I smiled. “I’m Ning,” he said. I nodded.

I don’t know why, but speaking to him without parental supervision seemed illegal. I dug back into my phone. My parents were back and we resumed our journey. For the rest of the day, I would catch glimpses of him staring at me while he was driving. Yikes. Where was this going? I reached Gangtok in the evening and settled in for the day.

I just freshened up and had dinner an hour back. I called up Kaustav and told him about this Ning guy. My sick fuck of a boyfriend started teasing me about Paharis having tiny dicks. Yes, Kaustav is a racist asshole, I will never deny it. My parents befriended our next-door hotel neighbors; they were busy socializing. I came back to the room to warm myself up with Kaustav.

 I took him on call, and he was in the mood for some role play. He started asking me about Ning. He gave a brief description about Ning being alone in the car, with me in the front seat, placing his hands on my knee and riding up my leg. Kaustav breathed into my ear, with my eyes closed, his heavy breathing usually more than enough to warm me up. He asked me to imagine Ning moving his hands up to the apex of my thigh and giving my bigger lips a gentle squeeze while brushing my right breast as he went higher. I could hear Kaustav breathe shallowly. He held his dick in his hand, letting me know how he squeezed it. I lowered my hand under the elastic of my pants. My cold fingers burned against my warm labia. My pussy hairs had started to grow back; I moved my nails through them as I touched my clit, still soft, starting to warm up. Ning was now kissing me down my neck, with my voluptuous breasts in both hands, kneading them, as he licked me down to my cleavage.

This ticked my insides; I pinched my clit, Kastav had now started to rub his shaft a bit faster. My fingers started making circles around in my pussy. I imagined my breasts pop out of my top, out in the open, being licked and pulled. Kaustav explained how he would unbutton my pants, pull them down and cusp his mouth over my slit. He would then push my tongue inside, making his way onto my clit, flicking me. I was aroused. I squeezed my boobs and spread my legs, giving my other fingers more space to explore. I was developing an itch in my pussy that had to be taken care of. I rubbed myself hard, letting out a moan, Kaustav moaned with me; I could hear him fapping rough and breathless. I was getting wet.

Kaustav kept telling me how he would bring out his dick to my face, lift my legs in the car and fuck me hard and rough. I wanted to feel the pounding. I flushed two of my fingers together into my hole, wet and oozing from all his moaning, and I fingered myself faster, imagining a strong, rough man grinding against me. I felt a current pulsate through me, making my hole hungry. I arched my back and deepened my thrusts, Kaustav moaning feverishly. I was climbing a sweet, sweet peak when I suddenly heard the doorknob roll.


I yanked my hands out; I was still under a duvet, pulling my T-shirt over my breasts. My parents were back. Kaustav was still in my ears, panting as his ending drew closer. I muted the phone not to discourage him with my parents in the background. I sat up as my parents started talking about the new neighbors. Kaustav jerked himself rough and finally drew to an ending, leaving behind an absolute delicious moan while I sat up smiling at my parents, my pussy dripping from the savage want of a thick filler. I hung up, texting him what happened.

Absolute bullshit of a feeling being half wet and half done. My pussy is still pulsating with disappointment. I washed up and am now going to bed. Well, you can’t always have a happy ending now, can you?

Journal Entry 4 – The Himalayan Fuck

I reached Darjeeling last night. Me, mom, and dad. Our first outing since the Covid19 outbreak. 

My dad was pretty skeptical about a trip amidst Corona. I whined him to death until he was convinced. I was dying to be out of home.

We reached pretty late. We took the train, the flights were way too expensive this time around. I was exhausted. I got the bed near the balcony, my parents were on the farther bed.  I undressed, washed up, went straight to bed.

Today morning I woke up with my mom shaking me while it was still dark. 

“You’ll miss the sunrise!”, She said.

As much as my heart wanted to, I yelled, “Tomorrow!” and pulled the duvet over me. 

I woke up with light hitting my eyes, the sun was up. Mom had opened the blinds to the shutters Infront of the balcony. I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

It was pure white light. The sun glistened off the Himalayas. The snow peaks cladded with snow. I had seen nothing like this. I was in awe.

The beauty was unbelievable. I kept staring at it for some time. I wanted to show this to Kaustav. I video called him. 

I showed him my view from the bed. And we talked about our journey. It was freezing, my nipples were perked up and he pointed that out to me. 

I started laughing and got back sooner under my duvet. That distracted me a bit. 

He kept staring at me, smiling.

“Show me,” he said.

I like where this was headed. I got up and locked the main door. My parents were probably out scouring the locality. They’ll be back anytime now. 

I got back to my bed. 

I turned to my side and brought the camera close to my breast. I rolled my fingers on the nipples over my pajamas. His eyes were fixed on them. He asked for more. 

I unbuttoned my pajamas and slid out a boob. I could see long perky nipples staring into my phone. 

I gently squeezed my breast, tugging on the nipple. I could see his mouth open.

“Show me now,” I told him. 

He adjusted the phone and turned on his side. He slid his hand inside the track pants and yanked out his dick, which had started to grow.

My mount dried up at his sight.  I pulled out both my boobs and started playing with him. I kept jiggling them the way he likes. Squishing them with one hand while making them bounce vigorously. This turns him on. The perks of having enormous boobs are that you can play with them as much as you want.

I asked him to pull on himself, straightening his entire thick length. My areolas covered my screen, and I could see his eyes tranced on them.

He started to stroke himself, rubbing his like thumb over his tip. He went up and down his shaft, with his eyes feeding on my nipples. I removed the duvet, pulling down my pants.

I spread my legs, holding the phone in one hand, allowing him the gallery view of my parted lips. He asked me to touch myself. So I did.

I started circling my clitoris with a finger. He started stroking his dick with the same momentum, gently squeezing on it. I brought him closer, his mouth parted. I spread my hole with my fingers. He was rubbing two fingers over it, steadily slipping them inside. I tilted my hips, pushing on my fingers. Two of my fingers slid inside me.

He started stroking himself faster, with sudden moans.

I started jerking my fingers fast. My insides started to warm up. I could see the tip of his dick moistening up. I wanted to touch him. Kaustav had his head tilted back, the phone was not steady anymore.

I fingered myself real fast, eyes fixed on his dick, my insides exploded, leaving me gasping. He let out a moan and came. His cum was all over his belly, he rolled to get something to wipe himself. He looked up and smiled as I lay there, turning my head back to the mountains.

What a sweet, sweet morning.

Journal Entry 3 – New Year vibes

Finally, it’s 2021. Finally!

A happy freaking new year!

 Last night was amazing. I met Kaustav and went to this underground club hosting a new years eve party. The club was raging! I got drunk after a very long time. We drank till we were about to lose consciousness. We danced and danced till our feet hurt. 

 Kaustav grabbed me by the arm and took me near the stairs. It was dark, and a dozen couples stood there making out. I was way too drunk to think sensibly. We climbed the stairs midway and stood at a bending that turned left. 

He pushed me against the wall and kissed me. The music was deafening. I couldn’t even hear myself. 

Kaustav held me by the neck with both hands and kissed me hard. My insides curled up immediately. I opened my mouth and took his lips inside mine. I wrapped my arms around his head and pressed his face onto mine. I sucked gently on his lips. He started grinding his hips over me. 

I was turned on. 

He started to kiss me down my neck. I whispered into his ears, “touched me”. Took his hand and placed it over my left breast. He gave it a gentle squeeze. I looked around to see if anyone was staring. There were two other couples nearby. Making out, it turned me on even more.

He squeezed me harder. I let out a moan

He moved his hand inside my top, flicking the bra underneath and grabbing a handful of my boob. My nipples were erect. He rolled my nipple in between his fingers, and electricity ran through me. 

I grabbed his dick over his pants and pressed it real hard. He pulled the neck of my top, exposing a part of my breasts. He fished out my nipples. He dropped suddenly to kiss me down my neck onto my chest and put my nipple in his mouth. I started moaning. 

I was triggered by the alcohol.

Suddenly, he let go. Someone from the club was at a distance. Asking people to clear the stairs. We started laughing. He grabbed my hand, and we walked down. I felt flushed. I was wet and in dire need. I pulled him close and said I needed some attention down there. He looked around. There was no way we could fuck there. I wanted to take care of it myself.

 I asked him to grab a seat and went to the washroom. I closed the door and leaned against the door. I put up a leg on the commode, pulling down my pants. I immediately slid my hand inside

The music was roaring everywhere. I was dripping wet and started to rub my clit. I was too drunk to bother about people or where I was. My fingers pushed inside my vagina. My sticky juices were everywhere. 

I kept thinking of grabbing Kaustavs dick. What a miss!

I wanted to take him in my mouth and suck him dry. My insides started clenching, I went really fast. I started moaning loudly. Pushing two of my fingers as deep as I could. I could feel my G-spot. I kept pushing against it, flexing my fingers, thrusting against the hole. My juices started flowing.

I would have made Kaustav suck my perked up nipples. My lower belly clenched tight, flashing a delicious pain across me. I moaned loud, gasping for breath. 

I stood there quiet for some time. My head spinning, I could hear people mumbling outside. I brought out my hands, grabbed a tissue. Peed, flushed and walked out. 

Kaustav stood at the bar, smiling. Well, Happy freaking New Year to me.

Journal Entry 2 – I am a bad human.

I can’t get him out of my head. I simply can’t. I feel like I am a terrible human and a bad influence with a disgusting mind.

It’s been a little over a week since my last journal. I have been too busy to give myself a day to rest. I’m going on a trip next week with my family, the planning has been crazy. My company has almost finished with the new merger, and things have been absolute chaos. Some of my dearest colleagues and seniors have lost their jobs to replacements from the new company. Things have finally started to wind down the last couple of days. 

Last week, a few people joined my department. Like all other project divisions, I, too, got a new supervisor, Mr. Gaurav Kamra. A man in his late 40s looks too young for his age, honestly. He was married, with a son of 8 years. Kind, but oddly strict. We had our first orientation last Monday, we were all given presentation topics, and today was the presentation.

The presentation went well. But the problem was when Mr. Kamra started his presentation.

He was refined, smooth and charismatic. I lost a second there, just admiring the view. The presentation was too interesting to miss. 

For the next few days, there was no interaction. Mr. Kamra sent everyone documents to work on. He came by for inspection today morning. He went around everyone’s desk, hovering over them to their computers. I was kinda excited for him to come over to mine. He did!

I introduced myself, explained the status of my project. I sat down, started the demo with him standing behind me. He hovered over me to the computer. I forgot what I was saying. He was wearing a fresh cologne, making him smell like he was fresh out of the show. 

I sat there, frozen with him doing something on my screen. I wanted so bad to make my face touch his. I couldn’t. 

 I imagined brushing my lips against his face, with him smelling delicious. 

My nipples tense under my fingers. I give them a gentle squeeze, warming up my insides. I let out my breath, sliding my hands under my leggings. 

It’s cold today. It’s a little too quiet. The blanket over me feels nice. 

I rub my clit from over my underwear. My thoughts took me to him, I imagine him turning his face round to meet mine, we stay like that, devouring our scent. His lips closing over mine. 

 I slide my hands inside, rubbing my clit harder. What I would do to kiss that man right now. He looked so firm and strong, I couldn’t imagine the way he could fuck me.

My hips gained momentum, I pulled on my clit harder, I could feel electricity going through my insides to my legs. I wanted more. I slid two of my fingers inside me. I was drenched wet. I kept pushing my fingers in harder. I wanted to be buried by his weight on me. 

I brought my right hand over my clit, my left hand still in my pussy, feeling the warm flesh. My toes started curling, I could feel my insides clenching tight for life. I let out a moan. I imagined him licking me down my neck, onto my chest.

Fuck! I gasped. I ran breathless, my insides feeling wet and flushed. I pulled out my fingers, they were wet. I came. 

 I got up and went to the bathroom to wash myself off. I sat there for a moment, breathing, thinking what the fuck was wrong with me. Thinking about a man married and in his 40s. I have to see him tomorrow.

 I suddenly remembered that I had a boyfriend. I felt so freaking embarrassed. Wondering why I’m thinking about him when I should only think about Kaustav. Isn’t this cheating?

I got on my bed, took my phone, and am writing this down. It’s New Year’s Eve tomorrow.  I’ll be meeting Kaustav. Should I tell him about Mr. Kamra? 

 Bad idea. I am going to sleep now.

Journal Entry 1 – My Love For David Axelrod

I finished reading the final chapter of Endless Love by Scott Spencer. I have turned into a hopeless romantic, rummaging through David and Jade’s romance, devouring their passionate lovemaking within two days. I wanted to hot talk with my boyfriend for a bit. But apparently, Kaustav is a day owl. This winter has turned me into a sad romantic, left all alone under a blanket of warmth. I pulled up the blanket over my head, trying to dream myself to sleep.

I closed my eyes and visualized the passion with which Jade and David made love. It was sweaty, it was hot with bodies twirling around one another. I could feel my insides curl in. I wanted that kind of passion for myself.

The more I thought about the way he kissed her down her neck, the heavier my breathing became. I had an urge to touch myself and make myself feel the love I was missing.


The blanket had turned me warm. I ran my hands over my breast, giving them a gentle squeeze. I glide my left hand under my panty, feeling the spikes of freshly shaven pussy. My fingers feel the damp moisture of my crevice. I run it along with the opening and push its way onto the clit.

It has been a very long time since I’ve had sex. I am dying for Kaustav to get on top of me. That man likes to fuck hard. Just thinking about the way he does me gets me fired up. I rub my clit more. A shiver ran through my body. There’s nothing I loved more than my clit being loved. My ears turned warm. My lower belly started feeling like it’s getting pulled from inside. I started rubbing my clit harder.

The only thing I could think of was a man like David, strong and mature, digging his face into my pussy. Closing his lips around my clit and sucking on it. I am starving for some hard dick. Kaustav would lift my legs and blow a sudden thrust, making me lose my mind.

I’m gasping for breath. I feel my juices oozing out, I am wet.  I slowly started moving my fingers over my vagina. Moving my fingers in, she swallowed ’em hole.  I moved my hips in rhyme, thinking about how it feels to fuck flesh on flesh.

I started moving my fingers fast—the friction causing my insides to go warm. I could feel the heat growing inside me, letting out a moan. My mouth wide open, my lips going dry. I spread my legs wider and started moving my hips, pushing it on my fingers. I hooked my fingers, rubbing the soft mass of flesh inside my hole. I run my right hand over my chest, clutching onto my breasts. My nipples erect. The blanket has gone down, now covering just my lower half. The winter chill making my nipples rock hard.

My mind has started to go blank. I need a thick, thick dick inside me – the push, the thrust, his warm breathing on me. I started moaning. My hips are synchronous to my fingers now. My wrist has started to pain, but I can’t stop – it was amazing!  

I feel a heavy push down on my fingers, I gasped. My fingers curled inside. I came, my fingers drenched in juices. My panty’s wet.


I feel exhausted.

 I lay there on the bed for some time. It felt like it was all I needed after a long tiring day. I started to drift into sleep. My mind went on and on about a real man with me right now. I didn’t feel like getting up. I rolled on aside and took a tissue from my drawer and wiped myself dry. I pulled the blanket over. I thought about David for the next few minutes as I drift off to sleep.