I can’t get him out of my head. I simply can’t. I feel like I am a terrible human and a bad influence with a disgusting mind.
It’s been a little over a week since my last journal. I have been too busy to give myself a day to rest. I’m going on a trip next week with my family, the planning has been crazy. My company has almost finished with the new merger, and things have been absolute chaos. Some of my dearest colleagues and seniors have lost their jobs to replacements from the new company. Things have finally started to wind down the last couple of days.
Last week, a few people joined my department. Like all other project divisions, I, too, got a new supervisor, Mr. Gaurav Kamra. A man in his late 40s looks too young for his age, honestly. He was married, with a son of 8 years. Kind, but oddly strict. We had our first orientation last Monday, we were all given presentation topics, and today was the presentation.
The presentation went well. But the problem was when Mr. Kamra started his presentation.
He was refined, smooth and charismatic. I lost a second there, just admiring the view. The presentation was too interesting to miss.
For the next few days, there was no interaction. Mr. Kamra sent everyone documents to work on. He came by for inspection today morning. He went around everyone’s desk, hovering over them to their computers. I was kinda excited for him to come over to mine. He did!
I introduced myself, explained the status of my project. I sat down, started the demo with him standing behind me. He hovered over me to the computer. I forgot what I was saying. He was wearing a fresh cologne, making him smell like he was fresh out of the show.
I sat there, frozen with him doing something on my screen. I wanted so bad to make my face touch his. I couldn’t.
I imagined brushing my lips against his face, with him smelling delicious.
My nipples tense under my fingers. I give them a gentle squeeze, warming up my insides. I let out my breath, sliding my hands under my leggings.
It’s cold today. It’s a little too quiet. The blanket over me feels nice.
I rub my clit from over my underwear. My thoughts took me to him, I imagine him turning his face round to meet mine, we stay like that, devouring our scent. His lips closing over mine.
I slide my hands inside, rubbing my clit harder. What I would do to kiss that man right now. He looked so firm and strong, I couldn’t imagine the way he could fuck me.
My hips gained momentum, I pulled on my clit harder, I could feel electricity going through my insides to my legs. I wanted more. I slid two of my fingers inside me. I was drenched wet. I kept pushing my fingers in harder. I wanted to be buried by his weight on me.
I brought my right hand over my clit, my left hand still in my pussy, feeling the warm flesh. My toes started curling, I could feel my insides clenching tight for life. I let out a moan. I imagined him licking me down my neck, onto my chest.
Fuck! I gasped. I ran breathless, my insides feeling wet and flushed. I pulled out my fingers, they were wet. I came.
I got up and went to the bathroom to wash myself off. I sat there for a moment, breathing, thinking what the fuck was wrong with me. Thinking about a man married and in his 40s. I have to see him tomorrow.
I suddenly remembered that I had a boyfriend. I felt so freaking embarrassed. Wondering why I’m thinking about him when I should only think about Kaustav. Isn’t this cheating?
I got on my bed, took my phone, and am writing this down. It’s New Year’s Eve tomorrow. I’ll be meeting Kaustav. Should I tell him about Mr. Kamra?
Bad idea. I am going to sleep now.